Illusions of Knowledge and Love
by Dr. Breifs Cat
Summary: Sometimes when you think you know something, you're right. Sometimes, you're wrong. Featuring Allenby Biazury, Rain Mikamura and the man they both love. G Gundam.


Disclaimers: Mobile Fighter G Gundam is not owned by me or anyone I know, as I am a mere American subbie, not some Japanese employee at Sunrise.  Pity me.

**Illusions of Knowledge and Love**

                Suddenly, I felt like I was going to vomit.  I kept slurping on my ice slushie, because I knew the feeling was more my heart dropping into my stomach than true nausea.  I swear, I heard a splash.  I sucked up a bubble of air with my drink and started coughing.  Domon slipping an arm around me and reassuringly rubbed my back.  I coughed a bit more into my hand, using it to cover my blush.  He had never put his arm around me before.

                I knew he never would again, though.

                When my face wasn't burning anymore, I swiveled my head around so that I could see him eye to eye.  He had turned to face me as well, rather than staring out over the bay like he had for most of our conversation.  When our eyes met, he glanced away quickly and withdrew his arm.  He folded both of them across the banister I sat on and looked out to the bay again.

                "You all right?" he asked, but their was no real concern in his voice.

                "Fine," I said, coughed once more and swallowed hard.  I sniffed and now believed myself.  About the cough, at least.  I took another sip.  So far, so good.  I looked out over the bay as well and swung my feet over the water.

                We were both quiet for a while; Domon looked contemplative as he stared into the horizon and I just let his pre-cough words echo through my mind.  I sighed and tossed a glance at him again.  That thinking-hard expression didn't suit him.  I wondered what he was thinking about.  Maybe he was thinking about what he said, too.  

                I hoped for a heart beat maybe it was realizing what he said wasn't really the way he saw things, that he was going to correct himself.  I knew that it couldn't be so, though.  I've never been that lucky in my life.  I was an orphan raised by the military, used as a test-subject with no friends and no one to understand me until just a couple of weeks ago.  To think that the one thing that I wanted most, needed most, could ever be something I could have.

                "You love her," I said finally, "don't you?"  I tried to smile, but it wouldn't come.  I think if I tried any harder, I might have cried.

                Domon jumped in surprise, his eyes wide and his face red.  He started stuttering something, but he couldn't get anything understandable to come out.  I didn't know if he was saying yes or no, but I had a feeling my own intuition could be relied upon.  I'm not too good at understanding other women, having been surrounded by men most of my life, but Domon was someone I could relate to, and well, at that.  It didn't matter what his answer was.  I knew.

                Trying to be nonchalant, I poured the rest of my drink into the bay and tossed the paper cup onto the deck behind me.  I planted both my hands firmly on the railing and leaned into them.

                "Where is Rain, anyway?" I asked.

                "She went out to lunch with her father," Domon answered.

                "A little late for lunch," I muttered.  It was a while after one o'clock, at least.

                "They left a while ago," he replied.  Conversation was dead for a couple minutes after that and I figured I might as well have some fun with his heart, whether or not there was any room in there for me.

                "You guys ever talk about dating or anything?" I asked, with a faux leer and toothy grin.  "Your childhood friendship grows into love sounds like something out of a movie."  

                Domon angrily pushed me off the ledge into the water.  I shook the water out of my hair and shouted up at him.  "Did I say something wrong?"

***********************  

                The Neo-Japanese limousine dropped me off at the bay where Domon and I had been staying since we arrived in Hong Kong.  The older man who owned the boat and the two children who lived there with him had taken the both of us in like family.  Aside from just being a nice, quaint place to stay, I thought it was good that there was some place Domon felt like he belonged after all the pain he had been through and all the people he had lost.  

                I boarded the boat and decided to look for Domon.  After all, I had some left-overs from lunch with my father and Domon was never one to turn down free food and it certainly didn't hurt that the restaurant was fantastic.  

                As I wandered through the lower decks, I happened upon Hoi and Min and asked if they had seen Domon.

                "Brother is outside," the little girl told me.

                "With Allenby," her younger brother added.  The good mood I had been in since spending the afternoon with my father deflated.  Why did that girl have to be everywhere all of a sudden?  It was bad enough she saved Domon in battle when there was nothing I could for him, that she could make him happier by doing something like fighting with Sai Sici or throwing boulders at him than I could no matter how hard I tried.  She even invaded my home.

                Clutching my doggie bag, I made my way up to the top deck, just in time to see Domon put his arm around Allenby from across the length of the boat.  I didn't even notice when I dropped the bag that contained the rest of my lunch.  My mind had blanked and I ran, ignoring my high heels and the uneven wood of the deck, to the hole in the wall that was my bedroom.

                As I collapsed on the mattress, I wondered how I could be so immature.  I lived for ten years without that man in my life and now after just eleven months sometimes it felt like the sun rose and set by the twinkle in his eyes.  How could I be so dependent on him?  I told myself it was loyalty, to my friend and my country, to the simple fact that if he was to succeed he needed support.  But...in my heart, I knew it was more than that.  And I'd known for a long time.

                But...if he wanted to be with Allenby, who was I to stand in his way?  The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him and Allenby could make him happy, how could I even think of being jealous?  A shame feelings don't listen to logic.

                How could I want her to just...disappear?  That wasn't like me.  I had always prided myself on being kind and caring, but here I was, being thoughtless and selfish.  Allenby deserved happiness, just as much, maybe more than anyone.  But I still coveted Domon's affection.

                Before she came along...

                I shook my head, wishing I could clear it, but it didn't seem like that would be happening.  I sighed and propped myself up on my elbows.  It was bad enough I took the afternoon off to have lunch with my father, I had much too much work to lie here and feel sorry for myself.  Everything I'd said about the immaturity of fighters came back to me.  I could be just as bad as them.

                As I exited my room, I heard a loud splash, but paid it no mind.  Such things were commonplace when you were surrounded by water.  I picked my way through the boat, looking for some productive to do when I ran into Domon.  His eyes grew to the size of dinner plates and his face turned as red as when Sai Sici pulled my skirt up in front of him.  He mumbled something incoherent and excused himself, without his blush dying down.  I scowled at his back and decided I didn't want to know what happened between Domon and Allenby on the top deck.

**Sore de wa...Gundam Fight!  Ready?  Go!!**


End file.
